BHM- day 4 Could have been better/could have been worse. | trixiegirl's Blog

Today has been a day of fighting to stay up, when circumstances want to push me down.

I was not really hungry at all this morning, but after a small slip late last night (I was up late and I was suddenly wide awake and hungry, so I ate some leftover pasta salad...) I realized that I need to have enough protien over the course of the day to stave off the late night hungries.  Looking back, I should have made a protien shake, but again, hindsight is 20/20.  Anywho, I made a protien shake with water this morning and 4 hours later I was still not hungry, so I just had another protien shake but used milk in it to boost it's all around nutrional value. 

My job has been a source of stress lately, since it has slowed down quite a bit and the lulls in cash flow are becoming longer.  I am a contract worker, and my job is very flexible even when busy, so I am also signed up to do temp work.  Well over the course of 2 months I have had 8 days of work thru the temp agencies.  Yes they are that slow.  Well the current lull at my "real" job had me concerned, I am now fighting full blown panic.  I called today instead of just obesessing all day and letting my imagination run away with me.  (Have they decided to use someone else and not tell me?  Are my costs too high, so they are keeping work in house, do they think I'm too fat?-yeah I can go there!!)  On the plus side, I normally turn to candy bars and pastries when I am in full bown obsession.  This time however, I stared straight at my fears and picked up the flippin phone and just asked them. Yeah me for a victory... It was nowhere near the answer I expected and it certainly wasn't the answer I wanted, but I found out that no the whole world does not revolve around me, and the lull in business is serious and if the company which is very small, is in danger of loosing its biggest client to a larger lab that can process items at a lower cost.  Granted not as fast, but apparently that doesn't matter.  So victory number 2 comes from the fact that made the call and when I got the wind knocked out of me, I just took a few deep breaths a realized that until anything actually happens, I worry in vain. well, and I didn't grab the cookies! 

Well, at this point it is fairly late in the afternoon , like 3ish, and my friend calls.  We talk for along time and by this time the man comes home.  Well, I haven't started dinner and I was craving a certain salad that they have at Dennys.  It is salad greens with blue cheese crumbles and steak pieces.  It is majorly awesome.  I figure at this point my whole eating every 3/4 hours is shot, and I really don't feel like cooking the planned tuna noodle casserole in 95 degree heat.  So he agrees and we go to Dennys. 

On our way there, I hear that Michale Jackson has died.  I am not sure why but this has really kinda bummed me out.  Say what you will about him, but the man had some great music.

We arrive, and my mood is wobbly.  I don't know how else to describe it.  So I order my salad with dressing on the side.  Used very little of the dressing, as the salad is so good it doesn't need it.  I also passed on the second slice of bread.  I realized as I was sitting there, that even though I may not be operating at 100% enthusiasm, it didn't mean I had to blow 3 good days out of the water. So I am claiming victory for the usage of minimal salad dressing and the leftover bread.  I did however order a strawberry sundae.  I can say that after 3 days of no sweets it really was just OK.  On the plus side I did drink alot of water today, and I walked a bit outside .

All in all the day wasn't a total loss, it just didn't go as I had planned.  In the vein of treating myself as I would treat a friend: I am telling myself.... Sure, you could have done better, hell we can always do better.  But also, you could have done a whole lot worse, and you didn't so take pride in your victories and all the negative crap can just BEAT IT! (RIP- Michael.)